Getting over hurts...

(Some how I've managed to highlight and mess up the first paragraph, so please forgive my computer illiteracy!)

One of the things that I have struggled the most with, over the past four years, is the hurts from others and their words or actions.  Now, obviously, being 47 years old, I've faced my fair share of hurtfulness from others, so there is nothing new in that, so what makes the past four years and the accompanying hurts any different?  The hurts came from those that I thought were my friends, from within the Church.  I expect attacks from people who are not Christians, but not from those who I have labored beside and gone through thick and thin with for years.  Those kinds of attacks are usually the most fatal of blows. When you couple those kinds of blows with the plethora of changes that we have faced over the past 5 years...it brings an instability to your emotions and your soul.  Yes, you may be very knowledgeable about what God's Word says and you can encourage everyone else to lean on and follow His Word, but the chaos that is raging in your heart and mind can sometimes prevent you from seeing what you KNOW is there and can prevent you from really HEARING it.  You have eyes, but cannot see and ears, but cannot hear...until you are ready.

Well...that day finally came for me.  We had checked into our motel room and having a migraine, I took a nap so that I would be ready to clerk the first session of our Regional Convention.  When I woke up, I needed some water and bless my husband's heart, he left my water in the very hot van, so I went downstairs to get that water, hoping that sitting by the AC it would cool off enough for me to drink.  Now mind you, I was still really groggy when I left the room...pretty much bouncing off the walls as I was walking down the hallways because I had no balance.  As I was getting onto the elevator to go back to our room, an individual asked me a question, so I stopped to have a short conversation with this person.  So you will understand, this is a person, who has caused many problems for my husband and myself, even to the extent that his actions caused so much stress that I ended up in the emergency room with heart attack symptoms.  However, I had determined in my heart, long ago, that I would not treat him as he had treated us over the years, but would treat him with friendliness.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do...treat others the way we want to be treated?  Anyway...I got to the room and told my husband about who I had seen while I was downstairs and he asked if I had spoken to this individual.  There was something in the way he asked that question that really bugged me.  I went ahead and gathered my stuff and headed to the shower and while I was in there, I was praying and suddenly these scriptures hit me in the face..."But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" (Matthew 6:44) and "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15)  "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgive you." (Ephesians 4:32)  If smacking me with them in the shower wasn't enough, then the very first message of the convention, reinforced everything in those scriptures...God had given the same scriptures and the same points to the minister preaching to make sure I heard the message loud and clear!

So...how do you get past those hurts...

1. You love your enemies in spite of what they have done to you.  Realizing that it was the enemy of your soul that instigated the hurt not the individual.
2. Bless them that have created hurts by finding ways to bring a smile to their face.  To bless someone means to "make happy".
3. Do good to them...find ways to help, to be an encouragement.
4. PRAY for them...because they were used by the enemy to cause hurt and destruction...they need God to reveal this to their heart so they may seek His forgiveness and maybe they'll also seek your forgiveness.  However, even if they don't, love them anyway, because you will be blessed of God for being obedient to His Word.  Two wrongs do not make a right!
5. FORGIVE them!  You cannot do any of the above with a clean conscience and a right heart before God without forgiveness in your heart for the one who has done you wrong.

So...if you have been hurt...if you are holding onto those hurts because they have become faithful friends...it is time to let them go because they are hindering the work that God wants to do through you. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." (Hebrews 12:1) If we hang onto those hurts for too long, then they become bitterness and the scripture tells us that bitter and sweet water cannot spring forth from the same fountain (James 3:10-14).


How do you know if you have achieved what God's Word tells us to do in regards to hurts and forgiveness...when you can look at that person who has wronged you and feel genuine compassion in your heart and you can be friendly without even thinking about it.  When you no longer get all bent out of shape and your blood pressure doesn't rise whenever you think about the situation.  That is when forgiveness has been achieved.

Have I gotten there yet?  I'm still working on some things, but for the most part...I'm seeing baggage disappearing...one hurt at a time.  There is one HUGE hurt that I am having a very difficult time with because of the large number of people that it affected and largely because of my over active sense of right and wrong and how things SHOULD be done.  This is the hurt that has had me grieving for two years.  I'm getting ready to have to face that hurt head on and I'm not looking forward to it.  However, I know that God's grace is sufficient and that He is MY defender, but I have to make sure that I am dead to self and allow Him to handle it so that I don't make a mess of things.  With God ALL things are possible, including the healing I need for my grieving heart.

God is a very present help in time of trouble.  He is my rock, my safety, my deliverer, my healer, my sanctuary, my savior, my hope, my strength, my comforter and my FATHER.  My trust is in Him and not myself.  The things I have control of, I make a mess of.  The things that I leave in His hands are the things that bring Him glory and honor.  So be it Lord!

Until next time...

Tammi